Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Drunken Hay Delivery

Things have been rather hectic. I just didn't realize how much stuff needed to be done before I leave.

Last weekend, I was running low on hay and mom...in her infinite wisdom(I just have to shake my head sometimes) decided that rather than take more bales from her place, that I should pick up 3 fresh bales from our hay guy.

Problem was that it poured rain the night before I was supposed to pick it up. The hay is still stacked in the fields. I completely understood that hay guy did not want me pulling out there with my trailer. So when he kindly offered to simply grab a bale with his tractor and run it into town for me, I thought he was being exceedingly accommodating.

I waited and waited...and waited! Two and a half hours later he shows up with this...
It's fresh. It's mostly grass.

It's also ditch hay!!!!

WTH???

Dude! You know that I would NEVER pick this out to feed to my horses.

It's big, thick, coarse DITCH grass!

And then I realized something. Hay guy was drunker than snot.

Holy Crap.

It was kinda funny!

Actually, it was really funny. He was being a riot.

Til he started telling me how damn fat my horses were!

Hey, no need to go there!

Ya can't argue with a drunk though. Nor explain anything to them. Like the fact that he was looking at Queen. Who looks bred with that big belly hanging down! Hello! I just brought her in from pasture. Of course she is fat.

BTW...I freaking LIKE fat horses. Not globby fat. Like my mom's. But fat is a beautiful color. Chubby horses are happy horses. FAT IS GOOD!

So anyway, the ponies are eating the hay. It takes twice as much to fill them up-because they are not going to eat those big coarse stems...DUHHHH!

And they are pooping about 3x's as much as normal. Lovely! What used to be a one wheelbarrow full per pen has turned into 2.

It still makes me giggle though. I don't know how the heck he got so drunk from the time I talked to him at 1pm until he showed up at 3:30pm? Cause he has a job in town and was just getting off of work when I talked to him the first time. He sounded completely normal. Man, he must have been chugging! LMAO.

In other news, my poor "pot" garden did not fair so well this year....
The grasshoppers annihilated it. The cooler weather has forced the hoppers to subside and now these poor scraggly plants are making a last desperate attempt to come back. I don't think the tomatoes will have time to set fruit though.

But the cucumbers are working hard...
Ooohhhh well. Maybe mom and Megan will be able to enjoy a little bit of fresh produce before frost gets them.

I'm a little worried about this winter. We have had the 5th coolest summer on record. Today feels like late October. It's downright chilly!

I still have tons of things to get done. Doesn't seem like I am making much headway, although I feel like I have been on the go for a month. Tomorrow it is coggins, brand inspections and healths on the ponies. The results of the coggins will be back on Tuesday and I'll be heading out Wednesday. I just hope I can get everything finished up before then. Otherwise, it will just have to wait until October.

14 comments:

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

The grasshoppers ate my entire garden. The cukes tried to come back, but they ate what came back. Same story on the tomato plants. They also ate all my pepper plants- the jalapeno included, and the tops off of all 100+ onions I planted. They are hellspawn!

Paint Girl said...

What a funny story! Well, not about the hay guy bringing you ditch hay, but him getting drunk in 2 1/2 hours!
I prefer horses more on the chunky side too. Fritzy has a good chunkiness going on with her right now. I've been so busy riding and preparing Brandy for the Pony Cousins trip, my poor Fritz has been neglected.
You've had one of the coolest summers and we've had one of the hottest summers. So strange the weather! I just hope this winter isn't as bad as last years!

Lil Mama said...

Thats funny, we just have drunk tow truck drivers. Scarey. I agree with you about pleasantly plumb ponies. Fat is a good color on a horse.

Breathe said...

You know, maybe he's just a cheap date. I once got buzzed sampling champagne in the grocery store.

Yeah. Light weight is my middle name.

I suppose you should be relieved he didn't deliver a pony keg or a pile of asparagus by accident. LOL

Vaquerogirl said...

Fat is a good color on a horse!
Drunken Hay delivery guys have got to be funny- FAT drunken hay delivery guys- now that would be Hy-sterical!

cdncowgirl said...

Fat as in a little heavy is good. F-A-T is not. (even though one of mine is FAAAT right now lol)

Weirdness with the hay guy. Maybe he's a 'functioning alcoholic' and was already on the sauce at his job? Then drank some more and got drunk off his ass??
Around here ditch hay can be used for horses, depending on where it comes from. My main complaint is that you need to watch where its from because of garbage and crap in it. We actually have a lot of alfalfa in the ditches (which the horses looove to eat as we ride)

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

Yikes. My hay guy always has to insult me every time he delivers me a block. It's a good thing he only comes by once every 6 months and that he delivers good hay, otherwise I'd probably give him a taste of my right hook.

SunnySD said...

And fat keeps them warm in the winters. If winter is as wet as this summer has been? Scary to think!

Laura said...

Wow - that guy must've worked hard to get that drunk! Too bad he brought crappy hay to boot!

Hope you get everything sorted before you go!

ezra_pandora said...

So did he like go and cut it in that two hours or what?? lol!! What a hoot.

I attempted to grow tomatoes and basil. Yeah. Did not work and I cannot blame it on insects or anything. Just me.

Good luck Wednesday.

Dena said...

I so needed this laugh. Believe it or not I was still recovering from the woman at the rally in all her British glory.

It brought back memories of the time I fell asleep in the car on the way to a supposedly really good party.
My words upon waking, "If this is Iowa AND a bike rally someone is going to die."

My idea of a campground comes with an elevator and a sign that says something like "Hilton."lol

I am a wuss...

City girl turned Country Girl said...

OK I totally need to give you *a High Five*!!! I too agree that my horses should be "fat" as they would say!! Me I say "healthy" LOL!!

Wow that's a crazy funny story!!

Andrea said...

oh my goodness!! That is hilarious!! Those truck drivers!! LOL!!! The drunken hay delivery man!! And ditch hay!! Sweet!! And I think your horses are perfect. They aren't fat....they are just well insulated for the winter time!!

Growing Up A Country Girl said...

To funny! I left a msg for you on the blog about Moon.... good luck